You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
