Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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