my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
