It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
