i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
