i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
