I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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