The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
