She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
being pregnant is like rehab
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
