Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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