I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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