every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Found the puke drawer
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
