WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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