They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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