There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
