I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
