Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
