Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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