cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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