He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
