I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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