just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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