i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
