Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
