i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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