there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
