1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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