We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize