ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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