I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
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I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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