6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
