Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Dignity is for republicans.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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