I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
