He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
