What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
