where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
