drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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