If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
