shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
