I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
