Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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