all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
