Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
