1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
