I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I have post one night stand depression
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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