Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
