I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
