Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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