ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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