Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
