only you would photoshop your dick
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
