stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
