p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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