What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
