wat bout pragnant strippers??
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
